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HEARTBEAT NEWS #23
HEARTBEAT NEWS #23
October 13, 2001
1) Dear Friends,
Many of you have written wondering if your email address had been misplaced. In most
cases, the answer is no. I have been working on another project. For the last twenty years
I have addressed a series of subjects (the effects of abortion on women, Radical Feminism,
the Sexual Revolution, and same-sex attraction). I am convinced that all these problems
are linked by a common thread: in all these areas I found that the problem began with
wounded individuals who weren't healed because they hadn't learned how to forgive.
I am currently working on a book "Friendship, Forgiveness, Freedom" which will
address this problem. On Saturday, Feb. 2, 2001 in Warwick, RI near the Providence airport
will be a day long conference by the same name on this subject, sponsored by Canticle
Magazine. If you wish to be emailed or mailed information, let me know.
Over the years I have seen how unforgiveness, resentment and bitterness keep people in
bondage to the past and are at the root of self-destructive behavior patterns. As I looked
out at the vast and increasing number of wounded people, I thought what can be done?
There aren't enough mental health workers trained to use forgiveness in therapy and, even
if there were, most of these people would not seek out this kind of care.
I have walked with my friends through the forgiveness process and it takes time,
commitment, and love -- it takes a friend. And so I thought maybe I could encourage others
to help their friends to forgive and then healing would spread out to the wounded --
friend to friend.
Many of you who receive Heartbeat News are activists, who deal on a daily basis with the
political repercussions of unforgiveness, anger, and self-destructive behavior. In a world
where the number of unhealed, angry persons is increasing geometrically, the messages of
love and life can't get through. People need to heal, they need to forgive and this can't
be achieved through legislation. For those who look at the increasing acrimonious battles
of the culture wars and think: "What can I do against militant evil?", the
answer may be: help one friend to forgive.
For those of you who are therapists, two books "Helping Clients Forgive" and
"Forgiveness is a Choice" are available. Or you can seek out the International
Forgiveness Institute website for information and research on using forgiveness in
If any of you have experienced healing through forgiveness, I would love to hear from you.
2) The STD Pandemic
The human reproductive system is designed to provide entry and exit for living matter.
It provides an open and relatively undefended door into the human body. The number of STDs
is continually increasing, as pathogens which previously had difficulty moving from one
human being to another, take advantage of the sexual pathways.
Human beings were designed for sexual fidelity. Multiple the number of sexual partners and
you multiple the risk of exposure to STDs.
The chance that a person will contract an STD in any given sexual act depends on several
Is the person with whom they are having sex infected? The number of
people currently infected with STDs in the population of people you are having sex is the
primary risk factor.
How many people have they had sex with and how many people have their
partners had sex with?. More people, the greater the risk that one of them will carry an
Is the disease easy to catch? Some diseases one exposure presents high
risk Others are more difficult to catch.
Is the sexual practice engaged in an effective way to transmit the
particular STD the partner is carrying?
Is a condom used every time? some times? never?
Does a correctly used condom protect completely or partially or not at
all against the particular STD?
What are the chances that the condom will fail, break, or leak?
When the condom advocates talk about effectiveness, they are usually referring to
factor seven, the possibility that the condom if used properly with nevertheless fail to
perform its function and allow exposure, but the other factors are equally and perhaps
HPV (human papilloma virus) is spread by shedding skin cells condoms provide only marginal
protection and it is not necessary to have intercourse or complete the sexual act in order
to be infected Condoms provide only marginal protection against genital herpes and
chlamydia. Anal sex is an extremely high risk activity and when condoms are used they are
more likely to fail. Many people feel that oral sex is relatively risk free, but in fact
herpes, gonorrhea, and other diseases can be spread by this means.
We are currently in the midst of an STD pandemic. Those with greater the number of sexual
partners are at the greatest risk.
Condoms will never be the solution because the reasons why men and women have multiple
sexual partners are the same as the reasons why they don't use a condom every time.
Women with a low self-image my make themselves sexually available in
order to feel accepted. These women's lack of self-esteem may render them less able to
insist that their partner use a condom.
Men who put a high value on their own sexual pleasure are more likely to
have multiple sexual partners and, because condoms decrease that pleasure, less likely to
use a condom every time
Men who put a low value on women are more likely to have multiple sexual
partners and may not use a condom because they don't care if they infect the woman.
Persons who are already infected with HIV are more likely to have had
multiple sexual partners and since they no longer have to worry about being infected,
won't use a condom to protect themselves or others.
Persons who have sex when they are drunk or on drugs are more likely
have more sexual partners and to "forget" to use a condom.
In order to have multiple sexual partners a person must seduce a number
of people and seduction often involves lying. Persons who lie to seduce may not disclose
an STD, a condom failure, or say that they will use a condom but then not.
Persons who are sexually addicted engage in high risk behaviors with
multiple sexual partners. Not using a condom may increase the "rush."
Thus those who have more sexual partners (and are at highest risk of being infected)
are the very ones who may not use a condom every time.
The events of September 11 have shocked the world. What can we do? Pray. Pray for
George Bush, the those who guard the safety of others and those who charged with bringing
justice to the terrorists.
And we need to pray for Muslims everywhere.
"First of all then, I ask that supplications, prayers, petitions, and thanksgivings
be offered for everyone, for kings and for all in authority, that we may lead a quiet and
tranquil life in all devotion and dignity. This is good and pleasing to God our savior,
who wills everyone to be saved and come to knowledge of truth." (I Tim. 2:1-2)
4) Speaking engagements
Dale O'Leary will be speaking
Oct. 17, CEFIM< Nacional, Mexico City on Radical Feminism
Nov. 9, Catholic Medical Association, Destin Fl, on inaccuracies in published articles
Nov. 16, Catholic Marriage and Family Conference, Providence RI, on teaching children
to do the will of God (401-946-8114
Feb. 2, 2002, Canticle Conference, Warwick RI, on Friendship, Forgiveness, Freedom.
From Dale's Disk, heartbea.rtf - Nov. 2000
Formatted in HTML 2000 11 10 WHS
Posted: 2001 10 13