Scandal taints fathers' rights group — Debate

Previous Message (Message #3)

From: David Shackleton
To: Louise
Sent: Tuesday, April 24, 2001 6:50 AM
Subject: Re: <no subject>

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(Message #4)

Reply

From: Louise [malenfant@powersurfr.com]
Sent: April 24, 2001 11:28
To: David Shackleton
Subject: Re: <no subject>

Hello David,

I would agree with you in all but one respect.  When it comes to this movement, in particular, given its dedication to obtaining full and fair investigations for the falsely accused, the idea that there are many people in the movement who support and advocate for the introduction of sex in childhood, is political suicide.  You can call it what you want, moralizing or suppression of free speech or what have you, but I know that such an idea has no place in the family rights movement.  Neither does having people convicted of seducing their own sixteen year old client in leadership roles serve the effectiveness of this movement.  When it comes to children, no society will tolerate liberal views about childhood sex.  I certainly want no association with anyone who has the goal of normalizing childhood sex.

The idea that leaders in this movement cannot see the harm in associating with these ideas has been a lesson for me.  If a movement cannot clean up its own backyard and protect itself from being seen as having controversial views about children and sex, we will get absolutely no where, as we have been.  I liken it to the recent controversy concerning the transgendered person wishing to be a counsellor in a rape crisis centre.  While there are many issues that are discussed in any movement, we cannot be all things to all people, and providing a welcoming home to controversial childhood sexual ideas is not in the best interests of this movement, no matter what anyone says.

I will continue my work, and change the system, one case at a time, but I will associate with no one who wishes to normalize sex with children.  I despise child abuse as much as I despise false allegations, perhaps that is because I have a child, albeit grown, but these weird ideas about encouraging children to masturbate publicly and engage in sexual activity as young as possible, is a real horror to me, for I know just how harmful association with this type of thinking is for people seeking fairness for the falsely acused.  No falsely accused person would want any association with these ideas, nor should it be foisted upon them unwittingly or unknowingly, for it would harm them significantly in the cause of clearing their name.  Perhaps any other ideas, especially as it regards gender issues, have a place in such a movement, but anyone who has a modicum of public relations savvy would surely understand the harm caused to our effort by welcoming controversial views about sex and childhood.  The next thing we will hear is that rape is harmless and only society's attitudes towards it is the reason why victims are so hurt by the unwanted sexual advances.  Where do you draw the line? 

I find Mr. Christensen's book disturbing in many ways, not the least of which is his thesis that all porn and the desires that underlie them are good and natural, but no where in this book does he condemn or even discuss the problem of adults wanting sex with children.  While obviously, the book fails for failing to deal with this question, this, coupled with the basic premise of the book that children should be introduced to sex as soon as possible, leaves me horrified that the falsely accused have been seeking this man out for advice for so many years without knowing his thinking on the subject.  In my view, it is unethical to hold yourself out as helpful to the falsely accused when you have published these kinds of views.  If no one in the movement can see this as I do, then I fear that the current leaders of this movement are more harmful than helpful to the goals of fairness and equality in family law.  It is a small community, largely based on the internet, and it will not prevent me from continuing my work, though I am stunned by the stupidity it demonstrates by failing to distance itself from these controversial views.

The kind of email I have received since this controversy began is very surprising to me, for I had no idea that a significant strain in this movement is exemplified by people who think that reducing society's disapproval of childhood sex is the way to help people in family court.  I do not agree, nor will I ever agree, that associating with these ideas is a good idea for this movement.

I appreciate you taking the time to write.  Had I known that so many people were in fact supportive of Mr. Christensen's views, I might not have moved to expose it publically.  You will perhaps find this funny, but I honestly thought that people did not know, and I moved to inform everyone so that they could distance themselves from this harmful thinking.  Ironically, people not only knew, but supported these controversial ideas wholeheartedly, and see nothing wrong with foisting them upon an unsuspecting and desperate public who only seek help in desperate circumstances.  I still believe that the public has a right to know, so that they can make their own informed decision about whether to associate with people who hold these views.  You may not agree with me, and indeed, I am heartbroken on a personal level by what I consider to be the height of stupidity and a public relations disaster, but I honestly thought that people were unaware and needed to be informed about what I believed at that time were people attempting to highjack the movement for the purpose of normalizing sex with children.  It was definately a lesson, one that has taught me that the only way to ensure that my own message will not be associated with these views, is to go back to the days when I was unaware of the internet community.  I certainly reunited many families and cleared many fathers falsely accused of child abuse, and that is what I will continue to do from this day forward.

Thank you for your time.  I doubt we will convince each other of the other's position, but I would only end by saying that harboring controversial views about sex in childhood is the kiss of death for any movement seeking fairness in family law.



Yours truly,

Louise Malenfant
Family Advocate
Parents Helping Parents

David Shackleton's Response (message #5) to the letter shown above