Fathers for Life
Fatherlessness, the lack of natural fathers in children's lives
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since June 19, 2001



Life after Divorce & Separation 

Life gets extremely tough when a separation and divorce takes place.  Mostly it is that the former husband has to foot the bill for just about anything imaginable.  More than ever before in his life, he has to make sure that he keeps his wits together.

Andrew Carlan, a lawyer who got his start in his legal career as a consequences of being forced to take some legal training to be able to fight for his rights in his divorce has to offer this advice.

As important as it is to be able to survive the legal and emotional consequences of divorce, it is just as important for a man to be able to get along on far less of a disposable income that he ever had before in his life.  That requires some restraints and smarts.  Most likely it requires the man to do things he's never had to worry about in his life.  He may have to learn how to save money in ways he never even thought about, but he must save money. (See also the Mortgage Calculator, an MS Excel spreadsheet for simplifying the calculation of loan and mortgage payments. Excel file, 20 kB, ZIP file, 5 kB. If you wish to use another mortgage and loan calculator that is easy to use and readily available on the Internet, here is a link to the Fox Business Mortgage Calculator.  It requires Java to be enabled on your PC.)

Eventually the man will be able to adjust to his new circumstances in life, and perhaps even to make a rational decision on whether he should share his life with another partner.  To make such a decision during the emotional and financial upheaval during and immediately following divorce and separation is extremely dangerous and one of the worst things you can do.  It is very likely that what he'll wind up with a carbon copy of what he had.  To get an appreciation of how dangerous it might and can be, have a look at this advice for men.  At least you'll be able to make somewhat of an informed decision as to whether it isn't better to wait a while before rushing into any kind of a commitment.

See also:

Developmental stages of expunged fathers

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2001 02 05 (format changes)
2002 03 05 (added link to Table of Contents)