The Expelled Fathers

Fatherlessness, the lack of natural fathers in children's lives

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since June 19, 2001

The Expelled Fathers

For German-speaking people:

Bild am Sonntag, the weekend edition of the largest daily national paper in Germany, provided excellent coverage of the issues addressed by the hunger strikers in Berlin, 16.06.2002 : Die verstoßenen Väter ("The expelled fathers"; translated excerpts from that article are shown farther down)

For English-speaking people:

It is too bad that there is not enough time to translate the whole article, but it is too long (translated excerpts farther down). It provides excellent, objective, factual and very supportive coverage of the issues. It is an amazing article.   Unlike comparable coverage of such issues in the press in the English-speaking parts of the world, the article is almost totally free of any bias against- and vilification of fathers.
   Mind you, Germany is far more aware of the consequences of the planned destruction of the family — simply by means of disfranchising men — than are many other nations. There exist great concerns in Germany about its population decline, which is estimated to be in the order of 23 million people over the next 50 years. That decline is due to the fact that the total fertility rate is barely 1.3 children for the average German woman of fertile age – about half of what is required to maintain Germany's population. (Related articles)
   It appears that even for a whole nation, and not just for individuals, the reality of approaching death brings about a considerable extent of honesty.

Translated Excerpts:

Alone in the year 2000, according to the Federal Bureau of Statistics, 194,000 marriages ended in front of the divorce judge. Affected: 148,000 children. "Only a third of the divorced reach a peaceful agreement," says Detlef Naumann (41) of the association Väteraufbruch für Kinder. The remainder fights on, often for years – mostly over support- and access-right issues, also in connection with illegitimate children. "A fight that is won by the mothers in almost 90 percent of the cases," says Naumann. What remains for the man is most often nothing more than to be a father on an hourly basis. They often don't see their children for months, sometimes not for years.
...."For many men the meaning and purpose of life get lost when they can no longer be part of their families. Many become sick [and] either lose their interest in their work or become Workaholics [sic]", says Professor Gerhard Amendt (62) of the University of Bremen, who published a study of the psyche of divorced fathers (www.vaeterstudie.de).
....In Bild am Sonntag, five expelled fathers tell of their fears – and of their children.

Case 1

"One can reproach me only because of one thing: that I love my children too much," says actor Mathieu Carrière ("Das Mädchen Rosemarie" – "The Girl Rosemarie")....For 3 ½ years Mathieu Carrière (51) raised his little daughter Elena (5); together with her mother – until the woman left him.

Case 2

Sally (10) and Gina (12) live in a different continent

"I no longer believe in law and justice." Engelbert P. (46) from a small town in Baden-Württemberg is no criminal - he is a father, a father who doesn't know when he will see his daughters again, because Gina and Sally are on the other side of the globe – in Australia.....

Case 3

For 12 weeks he has neither seen nor heard his children

"Papa was the first word my daughter Mona could say," remembers Ingo A. (39), a lawyer from the Ruhr Valley. "Papa" - that [word] he has not heard anymore since March 31, 18:00 hrs from his daughter (8). He has been fighting for 2 ½ years that his wife (still) (35) permits only one thing: "She shall simply let me see my child every second weekend!"....

Case 4

Almost ruined through false accusations

The fight over his children almost cost him his existence. "Can you imagine what it means for a policeman to be accused by his own wife to have sexually abused of his stepdaughter?" asks Manfred H. (34). Suspended for eight months from his job, nine endless days in court – Manfred H. was exonerated February 2002. His own children, Manfred (15) and Katharina (11) testified against their half-sister (17) , whom the mother had brought along into their marriage....

Case 5

They only live 200 meters apart but saw each other only six times

Since December last year, Jörg H. (31) from North Germany is the proud father of a son: Lukas. The last time he saw the baby was eight weeks ago – even though they live only 200 meters apart. The only thing that remains with the nature preservation officer, who already has two children from a prior relationship, is only the small photograph. One month after they learned that he and his former girlfriend would become parents, she brought an end to their relationship, broke off all contact, almost completely. Jörg H. heard of the birth only because acquaintances congratulated him....

Custody right, access right, support – paragraphs regulate destinies

...Ute Balten (51), vice-president of the Hanseatic Bar Association Hamburg, and family lawyer, explains: "After a divorce, both parents retain the common custody rights, the right and the duty to care for the child." The right to determine the residence – the right to decide where the child may reside – is often granted only to one of the parents, so that there isn't constant fighting. Unmarried fathers have the biggest problems: "The mother automatically has the sole custody right," says Ute Balten. The man will obtain joint custody only if the mother agrees. "If she does not – no chance." To the father is only left a visitation right, to be able to see his child on a regular basis and spend time with him: "One weekend every 14 days, every second holiday, and half of the school vacation time." Nevertheless, the father must always pay child support for children under eighteen. The amount depends on the age of the child and the income of the payer, and is determined individually. "When the child is of the age of majority, both parents pay proportionally when studying or education is involved, in isolated cases even beyond the 27th year of age."

One out of three fathers simply pays nothing

Many fathers do not obtain their rights, but many, too, neglect their duties: one out of three pays no support after separation. "2.4 million children in Germany live only with one parent, mostly with the mother," says Peggi Liebisch (39), business administrator of the Association of lone Mother and Fathers from Bonn. "We estimate that about 800,000 fathers pay no support." The main reason: "When fathers no longer live in the family, they often lose the relationship to the costs and believe the women would make themselves a good life with the money. However, that a family without support often slides into welfare dependency is often eagerly forgotten." [My note: It is too bad that the author of the article did not do a little more work on that aspect of the story, to obtain related information from other, perhaps independent or even objective sources. However, the article provides the names and Internet addresses of five organizations who provide help to fathers after separation and divorce. —WHS]

The article contains a reference to a study of divorced fathers, done by Prof. Gerhard Amendt (62) of the University of Bremen. The following is a translation of the abstracts of three newsletters announcing some of the findings of the study.

Newsletter 1

First results of the research project http://www.vaeterstudie.de show that in the separation and divorce phase episodes of interpersonal violence are common.

Excerpt:

Of anonymously investigated men (700 up to now) of the second wave of investigation, 203 identified that shortly before or during separation they were involved in violence. That included, for example, slaps in the face, the throwing of a cup, painful kicks as well as attacks with a knife and a fall down the stairs that was brought about in cooperation by the ex-wife and the mother-in-law.

(My note: I wonder whether they then yelled: "How come you are running so fast?" —WHS)

Newsletter 2

After separation or divorce many men find themselves in a far-reaching life-crisis. That is indicated by the results of the father study in relation to professional and health situations of the men studied

Excerpt:

In the past two years 2,100 fathers were asked via the Internet about their professional and private situations after separation or divorce. Numerous results of the investigation contradict the cliché of the emotionally independent man or father who shrugs off any and all responsibilities.

A separation or divorce can have detrimental effects on the total life-situation of the affected. Almost three quarters (71 percent) of the men asked report impairments to their professional life - therefore the area of life that stands unchanged in the centre of masculine feelings and self-worth. Many men are no longer interested in their work (37 percent), others, in contrast, immerse themselves in their professional lives (33 percent). A change of venue (20 percent) or being laid off by their employers (11 percent) are mentioned as frequent consequences of the private situation. In connection with that the study showed that fathers with a low level of education are the ones who most often are threatened with being fired. "Or expressed in different terms: the higher the level of education, the sooner the men are able to get the consequences of divorce under control," so Professor Gerhard Amendt.

Newsletter 3

To manage the separation- or divorce crisis, fathers avail themselves surprisingly often of professional assistance. However, additional results of the father study show that not all forms of help are capable to adequately address the special requirements of fathers - Here it is where fathers organizations gain in importance. [At this point the sample size had reached 2,100.]

Excerpt:

The choice of the form of help is remarkable. 29.3% seek out a psychotherapist. With that, psychological support ranks even before that through lawyers, with 25.9%. Furthermore, family-counseling (16.6%), youth-welfare office (12.4%) and fathers organizations (8.1%) were the most often sought forms of professional help sought.

An interesting detailed result of the Bremen study: the question pertaining to membership in a fathers Organization was answered in the affirmative by 18% of those asked. That shows that the fathers organization was selected as a form of help not until the later part of the progress of the separation. It seems that unsatisfactory experiences with help offered, such as by the youth-welfare office but also with difficult custody-rights hearings led in a not inconsiderable proportion of men to joining a fathers organization. Fathers organizations are a new form of self-help organization. Thereby they increasingly establish themselves as a relevant from of help for men. Nevertheless, fathers organization receive next to no public funding, even though it would be appropriate to consider the phenomenon of a German-Federation-wide founding-groundswell.

The newsletters can be accessed at the URL shown just above in the abstract of the first newsletter. The sample size is now 3,600 and it appears that no further additions will be made to the sample. The full study report is to be published in 2003.

It is too bad that we don't all speak the same language. Unfortunately, I can't find the time to make a full translation of the newsletters – not even the time to polish the translation I made here. What just a little bit of funding could do for the identification of what is happening to fathers. Alas, our elected leaders largely appear to feel that fathers are not worth spending a dime on.

As Patrick Fagan and Robert Rector identified in one of their reports published by the Heritage Foundation:

Each year, over 1 million American children suffer the divorce of their parents; moreover, half of the children born this year to parents who are married will see their parents divorce before they turn 18. Mounting evidence in social science journals demonstrates that the devastating physical, emotional, and financial effects that divorce is having on these children will last well into adulthood and affect future generations.

Fiscal conservatives should realize that federal and state governments spend $150 billion per year to subsidize and sustain single-parent families. By contrast, only $150 million is spent to strengthen marriage.

Thus, for every $1,000 spent to deal with the effects of family disintegration, only $1 is spent to prevent that disintegration.

— "The Effects of Divorce on America," A Heritage Foundation report that identifies beyond any doubt that the epidemic of divorce is destroying society.

People, please, don't wait too long to do something to salvage what can be salvaged of our society and of civilization. There is not much time before the damage done by half a century of Marxist social engineering brought about by modern feminism will be irreversible and we all will go down along with Russia.